Ice In My Veins
I think I spend more time at the rink than anywhere else in the world. This must be why people say I have ice in my veins. Nothing to do with my being a robot, right?
It’s been a crazy couple of days but that’s to be expected since we’re right in the middle of the season. I have a lot of things to look forward to. The hockey is exciting and I have a trip planned for the end of April so it ought to be fun.
Looking back, I’ve realized that I put a lot of other things on hold just so I can keep myself afloat, this blog being an example I suppose. I haven’t really had time to write or spend much time on my photography or music lately. Even at church I’ve taken somewhat of a step back which is more conducive with my schedule. I’m hoping to get back into these things though as I’ve volunteered to help write scripts for our church’s drama team. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll be brave enough to actually be on stage one of these days!
It’s easy to be on stage when I’m behind the piano. I know the songs, I know how to play well and I’m not the focus of what worship is all about. I’m there to do my part and that’s it, not to draw attention to myself.
The thing with being a robot, however, is that while you might want to change you don’t really know how.
The Latest
Well, hello rarely visited friend. I’ve neglected you terribly and I apologize. I wish I could say that it was because life has just been so hectic that I haven’t been able to find the time, but really considering how absolutely boring my life is that is kind of a piss poor excuse. But I’m a rationalizer and that I think is why I have truly missed my calling as a lawyer but anyways, I digress. I guess part of my reluctance to post is that I know nobody really needs this place and nobody really cares about what I have to say and the endless cycle of Work, Church, Sleep that is my life right now. But, if watching “The King’s Speech” has taught me anything asides from the fact that Colin Firth is ridiculously handsome at any age, it’s that everybody has a voice and they should use it.
The season’s in full swing and I’ve been in 100% hockey mode. If you cut open my head and look at my brain (provided you find one in there) you will see HOCKEYHOCKEYHOCKEY scrawled everywhere. I did manage to find some time to hang out with Cindy last week where we discussed our New York trip in April and I’m excited to just get away with the old roomies for a couple of days and reconnect. They’re the type of people that you can just pick up where you left off despite not seeing each other for awhile and everybody needs those type of friends in your life when there’s so many demands on one’s time nowadays.
This past week did prove to provide some mystery and intrigue thanks to 2 dozen roses sent to me at my office on Valentine’s Day. The roses came late in the day, the sender anonymous. I honestly have no clue still who they are from but my friend Ang has put on her detective hat and done some investigating for me so we’ll see what happens there.
I’m back to the rink today for a 3-game weekend. That’s why I have ice in my veins. No ice queen jokes please.
Floating
It’s easy to sort of float through life when your everyday routine is the same. I have the same 6:00 am wake up time, getting ready for work, nap on the train, get through the day then come home. I suppose I use this as the reason as to why I don’t post much. I feel as if there isn’t much to write about, or that at least nobody would be interested in reading what I have to say.
I don’t want to flit through everyday and not stop to appreciate things. I’m not the most sentimental type, I don’t get attached to things easily which is something I acknowledge. This is why I suppose I fall easily into not taking the time when I should.
I don’t want to be ungrateful. I don’t want to lose out on the very precious, very short time we have on this Earth but I let my own inhibitions stop me. There are times where my ability to feel happiness surprises me. It sneaks up on me, unexpectedly and sometimes I forget to take a step back and savour the moment and just let it sink in how blessed I am. I work in an industry I love, and I’m surrounded by friends who listen to me and care. That’s an embarrassment of riches for just about anybody.
When I was 13 I had written a list of things I wanted to accomplish by the time I turned 20. I no longer have this list but suffice it to say, I doubt very much that I had accomplished even half of it. Priorities change, after all and I think I’m getting better in tuned to understand what it is God has planned for me. He made me with a purpose and I’ve struggled constantly with what that is but I know figuring that out is part of the journey.
It should be a good one.
Boys, Sunshine and Vampires
Mmmm....Starbucks
This one’s a bit of a long one, so brace yourselves!
It’s embarrassing how late I sleep in sometimes but I rarely get to do it now so I totally exploit it when I can. This morning, after waking up at close to noon, I had some lunch at home and then went to run a few errands. Afterwards, perhaps influenced by the sunshine, I decided to drive down Mississauga Road. There’s something very atmospheric about driving down the windy road with all of those large trees glaring down at you with Rachael Yamagata coming through the speakers. I then decided to make the full drive down to Port Credit to chill out a little by the river. Little did I know the Mississauga Waterfront Festival was going on and I had accidentally stumbled upon it!
I'd look really creepy riding this as a grown woman, wouldn't I?
Really wanted to ride the Merry-Go-Round except, well, I’m 23 and didn’t have the excuse of having a kid to take on it. Although to be fair, in my flowery dress and ribbon headband in my hair, I’m sure I could have passed for younger.
Yesterday, I was supposed to have the day off but was forced to go to work to arrange the G20 passes for next week. Henry was having his first day off in who knows how long and wanted to spend it wisely so I told him I could meet up with him for lunch and hang out afterwards since the security passes were supposed to be in by noon anyways. Of course, they weren’t and since our security person couldn’t tell us when we were to expect them I decided to leave when Henry got into town. We went for a nice lunch at the King West Kitchen and then strolled down Queen Street for a bit while Henry pointed out to me all the places he’s been that hot girls hang out. Because I really needed to know this information.
Of course, I just had to pop into a couple of the stores and even found a store that sold these awesome vintage dresses from Bettie Pages Clothing. Wanted to try them on but felt bad for making Henry wait for me, although he said it was ok because he wasn’t on a schedule anyway, haha! Oh well, next time I will have to.
Continue reading this entry »
Do Not Be Afraid to Imagine It
I stumbled upon “Little Dorrit” a couple of months ago after reading about it on the Internet. I’ve never been a huge Charles Dickens fan, but my love of British period pieces won out and I decided to seek it out and watch it. If I could summarize the story I would, but in true Dickensian fashion, the stories included so many characters and sub-plots that I would never be able to do the story justice.
One of the sub-plots is the relationship between Amy Dorrit and Arthur Clennam. Amy was born in the debtor’s prison where her father was an inmate. She grew up good friends with the turnkey (basically, the warden)’s son John, who is in love with her although Amy does not feel the same way. Amy meets Arthur when she is employed by his mother as a seamstress and the two form a friendship and of course, she falls in love with him even though he is completely clueless to the fact because as sweet and kind as Arthur is, he’s also a bit obtuse. This video behind the cut summarizes their relationship nicely (Spoilers ahead)
Continue reading this entry »
All Right, You’ve Got My Attention!
Inexplicably, I feel the need to update this little corner of the webiverse every couple of months or so. I wish my life was interesting enough for me to blog more frequently as my writing would probably improve a lot more if I actually, you know, wrote more but it’s actually a lot more harder to write about what’s going on in reality than writing about what I’ve invented in my imagination. Who knows, maybe because in my imagination I can make things as interesting and dramatic as I need to and also scale back on the melodrama when I need to as well. I like having that control. Who doesn’t, right?
Summer’s here and with it comes the sunshine. I’m not a fan of the heat, but having the sun out there has made me a lot lighter lately. No, I’m not losing vast amounts of weight, but I do feel a lot more reassured. Nothing in my life has changed. I’m still in the same job, but I think I’m very close to moving to a bigger challenge. I have great relationships with my friends and family and I’m getting to know people at church more. Everybody around me seems happy too and that’s such a joy to see. The only adequate way to describe it is that feeling when you’re driving with the sun roof open (or the top down if that’s your prerogative) down an open stretch of road with your best friends and your favourite songs coming out of the speakers. It’s the simplicity and the potential of greatness of that moment.
Continue reading this entry »
Life on Mars: AKA, Sherry Hearts Gene Hunt
I recently got both seasons of Life on Mars (UK) on DVD and suffice it to say that’s kind of how I’ve been spending my evenings in the last little while. Series 1 was obtained with a gift card from Best Buy that I received over Christmas and after devouring it in no time at all, I decided Series 2 must be obtained and swiftly ordered it from Amazon.
I’ve watched a couple of episodes of it before when it was on Showcase so I wasn’t entirely new to it but it was even better than I expected. For one, the acting is top notch and the plot is very intriguing. I’ve also joined the scores of women that are in love with Gene Hunt (played by Phil Glenister whom I first saw as Mr. Carter on ‘Cranford’. Suffice it to say, Gene Hunt is NOTHING like Mr. Carter). I think it says something about our collective psyche as women when we end up in love with a fictional character that’s quite blatantly a homophobic, misogynistic cad but I suppose it’s no secret I’ll fall for anybody with an English accent.
I also watched the sequel, “Ashes to Ashes” because I needed my fill of Glenister, but I have to say I didn’t enjoy it as much. I think “Life on Mars” was more interesting because of how stylized it was. Still, it was enjoyable. I know there’s an American version out there that was made a couple of years ago and only lasted the one season, but I don’t think I’m going to venture into watching it.
As you can tell, this is my bi-monthly attempt at getting this blog up and running again. I wish there were interesting things going on in my life to keep you guys entertained but the truth is, my life is generally anti-climactic. I wake up, go to work, come home, whittle the evening somehow with one of my many distractions and then wake up to do it all over again. I suppose when one steps back and look at the sum of the parts, it’s not exactly a life imbued with much meaning but I hope that the things I do mean something to somebody.
I’m not sure where exactly I was going with that.
In any case, Chinese New Year was this past weekend and my father is in the country, which means we’ve all been very busy catching up with people. His social calendar gets really booked when he’s here so this has been one of my less boring weeks. Well, as exciting as having dinner with family friends can get! With the birth of my nephew Austin, it means that my generation of kids/cousins don’t receive Red Envelopes anymore, which kind of takes the fun out of New Year’s, but it’s not all about the money! It’s always a joy to see Austin. Even though he’s a baby and I generally don’t like babies, it’s hard not to love that little rascal. He looks exactly like his dad and is not fussy at all. I, of course, am taking my duty as the Crazy/Cool Aunt very seriously by making sure he gets indoctrinated on hockey (specifically the Ottawa Senators) early. All of my gifts for him have all been hockey-related.
Tomorrow, I have band practice for Church service on Sunday and then not much from there. Here’s to another week almost gone by.
Noise
I am by no means a social person. In fact, I would probably say I’m shy at best and socially incompetent at my worst. However, I do like to experience do things and go on adventures. While most might not describe going out to a fundraising party of 800 as “adventurous”, for me it’s certainly a stretch. 800 people is… a lot and I have personal space issues. So, two Saturdays ago, CJ and I got dressed to the nines and joined Lisa and some of her other friends in support of the United Way to party down at Rouge. The catch was we all had to wear masks until midnight. Continue reading this entry »
Fall.
Winter is in the air although some of us are still in denial. The house is absolutely freezing cold and I can feel the chill right down to my bones. I wrap myself in multiple blankets and layers to keep warm. Every warming, I refuse to leave the comforts of my blankets and make the mad dash to the bathroom. Changing out of my PJs into my clothes makes me cringe, just thinking of the goosebumps I’ll incur during the process. But still, I love being able to break out my coats and throwing them on. Snow is coming soon. It’s in the air.
I can’t believe how long it has been since my last update. I’m pretty certain I would have been in shorts and sandals when that was posted. How much has changed in the last little while, and most of it has stayed the same. I think I may have become a workaholic. Not so much that I’m at the office all the time (although with the season starting, that will soon become a reality), but when I’m not in the office, I don’t feel like going out and being social. There just isn’t enough time, enough energy or enough motivation to do anything. I’m selfish like that; I just want me time so I can stay at home and veg. And I feel guilty about it. Maybe it’s self-centered of me to think that people are actually missing my company but perhaps I will allow myself to think that is the case. If I keep saying ‘no’, people will stop asking and I don’t like the thought of that either.
See? There are still so many things I have to figure out from life.
Clearly, I am just thinking too long and hard about too many things. But if I don’t give my brain a good work out, it shall grow cobwebs and soon become just a figurehead in my existence. I need to stimulate it with made-up problems and conundrums. It’s so much better than exercising it by solving math equations and making it try to explain scientific anomalies…isn’t it?
Sunny Side Up
Sometimes when I’m on my own just walking to and from the train station with just my music I like to think about what I would be like had I been born into a completely different situation. For example, what if I had been born to a rich Texas oil tycoon or hard-working farmers in the Australian outback. Or, what if I was born to a young single mother who simply couldn’t cope and left me on the door step of a convent and the kind Sisters there raised me as one of their own. I would know nothing about the outside world. How would I react to seeing a computer for the first time?
In short, my brain is kind of scary when I’m allowed to think.
I can’t believe it’s been so long since I last posted here. My life has changed quite a bit so I suppose I should get to updating my “About” page. Most things have stayed the same though, except I am now part of the full-time working world and actually a contributing member of society. Somewhat. I pay taxes, I own a vehicle (well, I’m paying off a vehicle that I will own in 5 years time) and I have a chair and a computer in an office-type place where papers are shuffled, stapled and photocopied in a day’s work. And I’m really happy with it except I feel that it’s not the best use of my Honours Bachelors of Commerce. I don’t feel as challenged or stimulated as I could be, but I suppose it’s a good starting point. And it’s not that I give much weight to titles but I don’t like telling people I’m an admin assistant because I don’t feel like it encompasses everything I do. But I don’t want to outright lie either.
I guess selfishly I just want more out of life. I don’t think I’ve experienced all there is. God made the world so vast and so full that I feel like in order to appreciate all of it, I need to seek more of it.
I really am blessed to have the luxury to be able to seek it and I hope that I never forget to be grateful for it.
